Samples of Brad's Writing
 
Weird Wonders and Bizarre Blunders

Most Impressive School Science Project

Horace MacIntyre of Albert Einstein High School in Seattle, Washington won 11 awards for his inventions before he built an antigravity molecular phase shifter for his final science project. MacIntyre used the phase shifter on his teacher, Mabel Simpson, who levitated in front of the classroom and then came back down, hard. MacIntyre received only a "B" for the project because his teacher sprained her ankle when she landed.

 

Most Challenging Gold Course

The atoll of Hao in the Pacific Ocean has the toughest 18-hole golf course. Caddies carry machetes, and golfers must avoid hazards such as flowing lava, quicksand traps and jungle birds that swoop down and pick up golfballs they think are their eggs. The tee for one hole is on one island and the cup on another. A glass-bottom boat helps golfers locate their lost balls. Par for the course is 312.

 

Least Successful Hitman

The legendary Mafia hitman Benny "The Bungler" Puchetti didn't kill a single person in his brief career. His many failures included forgetting to load his gun, slipping and hitting his head on the bathtub while trying to choke someone in a shower, tripping and falling on his own knife and finally, driving off a cliff while trying to run a victim off the road.

 

Most Enjoyable Funeral

When Liam O'Keefe, the unpopular police chief of Tubercurry, Ireland passed away, the whole town went to his funeral and partied for two days. There was free food, storytelling, drinking and dancing. Debts were forgiven and the town's jail was emptied.

 

Most Boring Cruise Ship

The S. S. Luzon is a small cruise ship that sails from Taiwan to the Philippines and back again. The only entertainment the ship provides is a pack of playing cards in each cabin. Fights have broken out among the bored, frustrated passengers and people have been thrown overboard just to break the monotony.

 

Least Popular Doll

For a short while, a Swedish company marketed a doll called "Miserable Margrit." She wet her diapers, threw up, cried and kicked her arms and legs angrily. Margrit, whose face always frowned, also talked when a ring was pulled in her back. She said such phrases as "Shut up," "Get lost," "I hate you" and "I'm telling Mom."

 


 

Most Disgusting Flavor of Ice Cream

Judging by the percentage of people who get sick after their first taste, Chocolate Salmon Surprise is the worst flavor of ice cream. A Hilo, Hawaii homemade ice cream shop serves the ice cream with a little plastic bucket, in case the customer suddenly gets ill. The ice cream shop offers no refunds but reports that most customers eventually try it out of curiosity.

 

Most Dangerous Road

The Via Crespi outside Milan, Italy, nicknamed "Blood Boulevard," has no speed limit and the only visible sign lists the number of traffic fatalities that have occurred at that location (111 at last count). Sports cars have been clocked at over 140 miles per hour, sidewalks are used as passing lanes and fast-moving cars often ram slower cars out of their way.

 

Most Unflattering Statue

To honor five-time mayor Iain Llangelfni, the town of Caernarvon, Wales hired respected sculptor Brent Monmouth to create a statue of Llangelfni. At the time, Monmouth had recently stopped doing realistic art and had started working in the Cubist tradition of Pablo Picasso. It was a great surprise to the town when the statue was unveiled at City Hall. Llangelfni's head was a triangle, his ears were shaped like hot dog buns and both of his eyes were on the left side of his face.